Archives for 2022

A friend of mine has been searching for a sustainable method of coping in uncertain times.  He thinks life today is chaotic and we need to adjust our plan.  The truth is we are living in the most stable time in history.  There are more things we can count on to be true than ever before.  For Example:

• The Sun will rise in the east and set in the west (we are talking northern hemisphere).
• When a Republican politician is speaking he will lie.
• Democratic politicians will claim the moral high ground and then be counted on to do nothing.
• The inexplicable popularity of Nutella and Marmite will forever remain a mystery.
• With no proof and only the words of perhaps the most prolific liar in history, nut-bags will continue to think the 2020 election was magically stolen.
• The stock market will rise and fall and rise and fall and rise and fall…
• Not one single person will change their views based on a Facebook post.
• Somebody will win the lottery, it just won’t be YOU (from the archives, still true).

So let’s all stop being afraid and chillax!   “Ain’t nuthin’ to worry about.”

So in the past I have admitted “I got nothing” and moved to the next day.  Today I don’t want to rely on that crutch.  So instead of whining about something in the world that I perceive to be an injustice I am going to share with you one of the most closely guarded secrets regarding what to do to insure a successful future. 

It is only one word and it is as true today as it was in 1967 when Mr. McGuire shared it with Benjamin Braddock upon his graduation and just minutes prior to Mrs. Robinson’s attempt to seduce him.  Please use this wisdom to chart a course for success but do not share it with others lest it become a meme on the internet and be quickly relegated to Facebook, the place where great ideas go to die.  The word: Plastics!

As always, no thanks necessary.

The on-line version of the JAMA Internal Medicine Newsletter of July 5, 2022, says the results of an observational study that looked at over 350,000 adults in the US did not find any significant difference in mortality rates between weekend warriors and regularly active participants.
Adults who perform 150 minutes or more of moderate to vigorous physical activity (or 75 minutes of vigorous activity) per week may experience similar health benefits whether the sessions are spread throughout the week or concentrated in a weekend.

While this may sound like good news for those with limited time, it does nothing for those of us that are lazy and want to get the benefits of exercise with no physical exertion whatsoever.  Come on Doc!  Where’s the pill?

I moved to Los Angeles in 1960 when I was 8 years old.  One of my first memories was the following jingle for Stanley Chevrolet:

(Sung to the tune of the Stanley Chevrolet Jingle)
Stanley, Stanley, Stanley Chevrolet.
Two blocks off the Santa Ana Freeway,
11980 East Firestone, Stanley Chevrolet!

62 years later the words and music are still embedded in my memory like the “Earworm from Hell!”  It makes me wonder what I did not do because the section of my brain that stored the jingle was not available for research and development.  I may have discovered a cure for the eyelid twitch; done better in college and gotten into grad school, earning an advanced degree in English Literature, qualifying me for jobs like shift manager at McDonalds or cellphone sales; or perhaps become a Physicist and moved String Theory from theoretical to…to…to whatever the opposite of theoretical is, beating out Sheldon Cooper for The Nobel Prize.

Damn You Stanley Chevrolet!

PS:  I did make some progress on String Theory.  I found the largest ball of string is located in Dawrin, MN.  It weighs 17,400 pounds, is twelve feet in diameter, and was the creation of Francis A. Johnson.

On July 21, 1899, Ernest Hemingway was born in Oak Park, Illinois, not far from where another literary icon was born in 1950 (modesty prohibits me saying my name).  Possibly the most over-rated writer in history, this cheap anti-Semitic hack had two things going for him that kept him from fading into the oblivion he so richly deserved;
     1.  He hated Jews and that was enough to get a substantial following of like-minded pond scum.
     2.  He wrote one of the world’s best novels; a literary masterpiece and a favorite of mine: “The Old Man and the Sea.”  For that work alone he should be remembered.  His other works have their place; under a short table leg to act as a stabilizer.

Just my opinion but I think we can all agree I am usually correct.  It’s a gift…and a curse!

“And one giant leap for mankind!”  The Apollo 11 Astronaut said these words when he first set foot on the Moon’s surface July 20, 1969.

For all you youngsters that don’t have firsthand knowledge of the time, there was a conspiracy theory advanced by fringe groups saying the landing was staged by Director Stanley Kubrick; that it never really happened.  As ridiculous as it was and with no proof, a survey estimated 20% of Americans believed the theory was highly probable.

With advances in communication and technology nothing like that conspiracy theory could ever be believed today.  Something outrageous, like believing without a shred of proof, a loser presidential candidate ranting about the election being rigged and stolen.  There simply could not be that many idiots in the world today.

Uh-Oh…

More Wisdom from The Oracle of Omaha:
“Rule No. 1 is never lose money.  Rule No. 2 is never forget Rule No. 1.”

I have always benefitted from Warren’s tips.  I immediately did the following:
      1.  Stopped carrying cash in my wallet; only in my shoe.
     2.  Repaired the holes in the pockets of all my pants.
     3.  Had my Acupuncturist leave a pin in my ear that reminds me to check the change dispenser at the supermarket checkout.

I have not lost any money since I took these precautions.  Thanks, Warren!

The Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office said the woman, whose identity has not been publicly announced, fell into a pond at the at the Boca Royale Golf and Country Club in Englewood Friday night and was attacked by an alligator.

Note to Self:  If I ever take up the silly game of golf, then find myself on a course in Florida and hit into a water hazard, just take the two-stroke penalty and move to the next hole giving wide berth to the pond.

Little did the world know that 6 years later, almost to the day, I would become sick to my stomach spinning in a tea cup on the 1 minute and 30 second Mad Tea Party ride in Fantasyland.

Good times!