Archives for July 2022

Back in the 1950’s we knew how to coin an insult!  The origin of this gem is disputed, but the consensus is that the insult was born when a sergeant supplied his combat troops with prostitutes and some were seen leaving the tent wearing the soldier’s boots.  Somehow this action morphed from a fair trade to an insult against one’s mother.

As we matured and our appreciation of the most important woman in the world grew exponentially, we realized the hurtfulness of our words and we could not bear to insult a mother, even those of our worst enemies.  Even the most hardened of delinquents would respond to an insult aimed at his mother with the bone-chilling response: “Hey man, No Mothers!“

It was a scary time to grow up!

A bit of money wisdom; a quote from the Oracle of Omaha, Warren Buffett on taking action in the stock market.  But I believe the advice is good for many of life’s situations.  Take today, for example.  I have nothing cogent or clever to say so I will say nothing.  But come to think of it, by saying I am not going to say something didn’t I say something?

I got it.  If in the future you see a blank post with nothing on it at all, you will know it was a well thought-out and very clever post thanks to Mr. Buffett!

                                                                                                             (Get it?)

The AARP, provider of news you can use for those of us in the “ancient but hanging in there”  generation, tells us our smartphones may be increasing our risk of falls, pains in the neck (literally and figuratively), sleep problems, obesity, eyestrain and a litany of other maladies.

I know some of us are slow learners but is there still a single pea-brained idiot that still texts while driving?  If there is and you are that dim-wit please do the following before you kill yourself and others:

1. Throw your car keys in the toilet (or alternatively sell your car).
2. If you can afford it download Uber & Lyft apps. (Not to be confused with Uber Eats).  Otherwise buy a bus pass.
3. Never get behind the wheel of a car again.

This PSA brought to you by “Common Sense. Don’t leave home without it.”

 

One Bomb was beautiful and one was a horror.

On July 5, 1946, French designer Louis Réard unveils a daring two-piece swimsuit at the Piscine Molitor, a popular swimming pool in Paris. Parisian showgirl Micheline Bernardini modeled the new fashion, which Réard dubbed “bikini,” inspired by the U.S. atomic test that took place off the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean on July 1st, just 4 days before.  There were two-piece swimsuits in the past but this was the first one that exposed a woman’s navel.

And to answer the question on everyone’s mind right now:  Ms. Bernardini has an “Innie.”

Talk about a slow news day!  This is the headline from People Magazines Royals email. 
I didn’t get a chance to read the article but I hope they brought the Royal Pooper-Scooper along.  Perhaps it is a blessing to have your lawn enhanced by an application of the Royal Fertilizer?

An article on the all-knowing internet says that experts say, barring any specific filth, i.e. grease, sweat, extraneous bodily secretions, washing your bed linen every two weeks is fine.

This brings to mind two thoughts:
   1.  Who are these experts?  
   2.  Ewwww!

I wonder what they say about sweat socks? 

On this the 246th Year of our independence from England the celebration might just be tempered a bit by a mass shooting in Chicago, a supreme court that ignores the constitution to promote their religious agenda, an attack on our capitol by our own citizens and an unending spate of lies about election results from insane politicians.
Somebody light the sparklers. Let’s party like it’s 1999; a time when we still had a glimmer of hope.

Just kidding.  All is good.  Go back to sleep.

Red wolves are a critically endangered species that was once found throughout much of the southeastern United States — fewer than 30 are still found in the wild today.  But conservationists have hope of reviving the wolf species before it’s gone for good. While conducting research on coyotes living in Louisiana, scientists discovered pockets of coyote populations that carry diverse red wolf “ghost alleles,” which could potentially be used to save red wolves from extinction.

Has anybody asked the Red Wolves how they feel about this?  Sure, their species is saved but then they will never hear the end of it from the Coyotes.
“Hey Red, how’re you enjoying that beer?  I guess you’re glad we shared a ghost gene or two!  How about another round for your saviors here?

It may mean the very survival of the species, but at what cost?

I am getting 50 to 70 a day.   About 400 of them are final warnings telling me my non-existent Macaffee virus protection has expired.  Many are in some unintelligible Cyrillic looking text.  Surprisingly I have not received one telling me the warranty on my car is expiring.  I guess the car people prefer the recorded voice over the mechanical email?  But why the huge increase now?

I have narrowed it down to 2 possibilities:
1.   The Russians are preparing to influence our next election or
2.   There are people who use the internet to illegally extract money from unsuspecting victims.

I am going with the first.  The second choice is too ridiculous to entertain!