Archives for April 2022

Here’s how it works:
    You pick a word that is near and dear to your heart.  The App then picks 3 songs with a word of the same syllable count and plays the music like a Karaoke Machine and you sing along melting away cares and worries!  Fun for all ages!

My favorite word:  Non-Fungible 
Sung to the tune of:

• “The Impossible Dream” from “Man of La Mancha.”   “To dream the non-fungible dream…”
• “Impossible” by Perry Como:   “Non-fungible to ask a baby not to cry it’s just non-fungible..”
• “All of the Lights” Kanye West Ft. Rihanna & Alicia: “Fast cars, shooting stars, non-fun-gi-ble!”

The hottest app in the store…or will be as soon as I invent it!

Michael Corleone was not at all happy with the fact Moe Greene threw his brother Fredo a beating on the floor of the Tropigala Casino in Vegas.  But even Fredo understood and tried to mend fences acknowledging that Moe had good reason.  As Moe told it “Fredo was Bangin’ cocktail waitresses 2 at a time; customers couldn’t get a drink!”

Fredo wasn’t alone.  Luke Jackson, aka “Cool Hand Luke” took several beatings at Road Prison 36 and Andy Dufresne was assaulted regularly by “The Sisters” in Shawshank Prison.  Strangely it made them feel as if they had some control in their lives.  Thousands of beatings are taken daily for thousands of different reasons.

For what cause or reason would you to take a beating?

According to The Daily Digest Easter basket prices are skyrocketing!  From chocolate bunnies to jelly beans, the average cost of an Easter basket is now $61.83 — a more than 22% increase from spring 2019.
This is due to the 8.5% inflation rate causing a rise in the cost of raw materials such as the ingredients to make candy, higher gas prices to transport the candy to stores, and supply chain issues compounding the problem.

I guess the unfortunate Christians in the lower income levels are going to have to be satisfied with celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus and forgo the sugar high that the wealthy class of all religions enjoy.  Sad.

I may be repeating myself but that is what we old guys do.
The only universal truth about religion is that regardless of the beliefs you choose to keep, or as Ebenezer Scrooge said, you choose to “leave alone,” we all came from the same place and are inexorably connected as the human race.
So enjoy your Sunrise Service, Seder, nature walk, morning meditation, baked ham, matzo balls or whatever you like and share something with those less fortunate.

One thing I believe we can universally agree on is Nature’s most perfect secular symbol of the Easter Season:  The Cadbury Creme Milk Chocolate Egg; empirical proof of a power greater than us. 
                                                                           

“This quote from British actor David Oyelowo, who portrayed Martin Luther King Jr. in the 2014 film “Selma,” speaks to the power that film has to stir something within the audience.  Film is art, and like all art, it intimately reflects the hopes, fears, joys, and anxieties in which it’s made.”  We look for ourselves on the screen.

That is exactly why I go to the movies and only go to see movies starring George Clooney.  It’s like looking in the mirror.

Passover, also called Pesach, is a major Jewish holiday that celebrates the exodus of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, and the “passing over” of the forces of destruction, or the sparing of the firstborn of the Israelites.  It occurs on the 15th day of the Hebrew month of Nisan, the first month of Aviv, or spring. That’s tonight.

Seder customs include telling the story, discussing the story, drinking four cups of wine, eating matzo, partaking of symbolic foods placed on the Passover Seder plate, and reclining in celebration of freedom. The Seder is the most commonly celebrated Jewish ritual, performed by Jews all over the world.

Having missed out on much of the formal religious training many in my family received, I have fashioned my own rituals to celebrate our people’s freedom from bondage.  Tonight my Seder plate will include traditional shrimp salad with seasoned croutons, a corned beef and Swiss on rye with a big glass of cold milk.   
(Inside joke for my Lonsmen)

But that’s just me.  For my friends and family gathering tonight to celebrate this joyous occasion I wish you a Gut Yontiff or Chag Sameach. And for those who didn’t Google “Traditional Passover Greetings” to give the impression they know what they are talking about: “Happy Passover!”

Author of this quote Byron Katie is best known for “The Work,” a meditation practice she has taught for nearly 20 years to promote inner peace and self-acceptance. Here, she encourages us to prioritize caring for ourselves as a foundation for joy and fulfillment.

So for those wanting to use a mirror top see love in their life, I find it works better if you attach the mirror to the ceiling over your bed.

Toots and the Maytals:  The 1968 release “Do the Reggay” was credited with being the first popular song to use the term “Reggae.” Legend says Toots’ success was the inspiration that led to Bob Marley giving up a promising career as a crooner and opening act for geriatric heartthrob Andy Williams and trying his hand at Reggae.  Good move Bob!

The Vinegaroons:  The Indie rock quartet hailed from Santa Monica, California and ruled the 70’s.  Their iconic “Fat Dog Blues” spent 6 consecutive weeks #1 on the chart; that chart being Dr. Demento’s list of the “most demented records in L.A.”  Lead vocals and songwriter Greg Garfield, bass and vocals Phil Brandon, rhythm guitar and vocals Yanaki Sockamockus were a unique child of their times; destined to flame out before they earned the wealth they so richly deserved.  But the music world is in total agreement that there has never been a professional drummer that earned a living as a musician with the level of skill demonstrated by their stick-man known only as “Squeeze.”  Where are they now?

Waiting 4 Wyatt:  From the start their 2005 classic album “What Are You Waiting For?” turned the music world upside down.  Emerging from the bubbling cauldron of the Alt-Rocking tidal wave in California’s San Fernando Valley, their unique brand of Rock & Roll was both new and comfortable at the same time.  They quickly developed a cult following dubbed “The Wait Staff,” fewer in numbers by the super-group standards of The Grateful Dead”, but rivaling Dead Heads in their passion, loyalty and ability to serve food.  Waiting 4 Wyatt is still envied for creating one of the coolest Band-Name/Album-Title combos ever.  Hearing the phrase “What Are You Waiting For? continues to cause a stirring in one’s loins!  Their anthem “Time After Time” has often been copied, but never equaled.   Rumor has it a bootlegged non-fungible token copy of their album went for $600,000.00 on the dark web. 

Ask yourself the question on the lips of music aficionados everywhere: Why are none of these groups represented in Cleveland, Ohio?

Talk about “Big Brother is watching!”  All you have to do is search a product on Amazon or do a Google search and you receive an uninterrupted spate of emails and advertisements on similar products.  Today, after clicking on a coffee advertisement a day ago, I received 5 emails titled French Roast Decaf Coffee, Secura French Press Coffee, Mueller Coffee Maker, Secura Coffee Maker and Keurig Coffee Pods, subscribe and save.  Someone or something is keeping tabs on us.
It may not seem like a big deal but what if I click on a Victoria’s Secret or Tinder ad by mistake?  Who knows what type of sleazy or salacious ads will appear in my em…wait…hmmm.

Never mind.

Even the “Bad Guys.”
So when you are railing against the injustice of one group or another, remember that in their hearts they think they are right.  The black-hearted scum that put money and power ahead fairness and compassion inexplicably think they are right.  The soulless zombies that feel none of the pain of hungry children sadly living in our wealthy nation. The faux righteously indignant that whine on social media decrying that our country gives aid to foreign nations while our Veterans suffer, and then do not raise a freakin’ finger to do demand that changes. Even those people think they are doing their best.  So try to understand and show compassion.  Be a better version of yourself and hope they find enlightenment.

Not until you have exhausted all hopes of their redemption do you engage in the hope they cross the path of a runaway trash truck.
(Thoughts and prayers for the safety of the truck driver).