Archives for March 2022

TYPE A                                                 TYPE B  
1. Speed Racer                                                      1. Snagglepuss: Exit, Stage Right!
2. Transformers                                                    2. The Jetsons
3.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles               3. Rocky and Bullwinkle
4. Tales from the Crypt                                     4. Casper the Friendly Ghost
5. Street Fighter                                                  5. Dudley Do-Right
6. Mortal Combat                                                6. SpongeBob SquarePants

I happily identify as Type B. (Pronouns nerd/uh you)

In a recent meeting of the Synod of Interfaith Elders and Bake Sale, research determined that this partial quote was ignored by an overwhelming majority of the world’s population.  The desire to condemn and then go out for a bit of sinning is just too powerful to ignore.

Losing by the smallest margin of one vote, the motion to toss the Book of John from the Bible was defeated.  Maybe next year.

In his column The Results Are In, Dr. Sanjay Gupta reports a study determined just one pint of beer or glass of wine a day, on average, may begin to shrink the overall volume of the brain and the damage worsens as the number of daily drinks rises.

That explains so much.  

Currently, if  customers of the Tesco Supermarket in Weston-super-Mare, England, park for longer than half an hour, they must spend at least £3 in the store for a three hour stay.  If they don’t, motorists could be slapped with a £70 fine. 

Kind of makes all your problems seem small, right?  Smile and count your blessings!

I am not sure how to handle this.  I shall use this lull in animosity to share some inflammation related wisdom from William Butler Yeats:
“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”

  So get outta here and learn something  ya crazy firebugs!

Great News!  
At last another makeup line on which young people with unrealistic expectations can throw away their money.   Now, instead of only contributing to the billions of the Jenner-Kardashian cabal trying to look like a strung out skank with Kylie Cosmetics, they can choose to look like The Crypt-keeper’s Wife, embracing pale skin, garish lipstick and midnight black circled Siamese cat eyes with GVXE Beauty.
It’s Good to Have Choices!

“Deliciously Twisted” is the title of the latest original movie from Hulu.  What does that say about us as a society if that is the catchphrase that is designed to entice us to watch?  The promos promise an intimate look at the terrifying landscape of dating where the “darkest secrets” of the most promising people are revealed.

The only “Deliciously Twisted” thing I am interested in is a glazed braid from VooDoo Doughnuts where “The Magic is in the Hole!”
(Speaking about the doughnut, not the date, of course).

Really Adolph; still supporting that numbskull’s Lie?
I mean, it’s ok with me…asking for a friend.

This is the title of a webinar hosted by the AARP today.  A chance for us elderly hoarders to unburden ourselves from the tons of expired documents, bank statements and cancelled checks (I’ll pause for a moment so Millennials can google “canceled checks”), old teddy bears and dolls that hold memories of an idealized time we know will never return, magazines filled with must read articles we will never get to, ticket stubs and programs, unwieldy Fostoria Crystal not used in 50 years, and countless items for which we have no use but know we will be heroes to friends and family when they express a need and, like a fairy godmother, wave our wand and make it magically appear!

That was the plan when I signed up to attend, but I dozed off and missed it.  So I stand before you unorganized and cluttered.  I’m so ashamed! The good news is I still have some old magazines, a baseball glove and Fostoria Crystal if the need for these priceless items should ever arise.

That is, if you care about any of these (news?) items:

• Kim Kardashian divorcing Kanye West.
• Melinda Gates “opening up” about her divorce from Bill.
• Jerry Lewis’ unwanted advances in 1953.
• The shocking news Hugh Hefner did not always show respect for women.
• Which beard Clayton Echard eliminated; Gabby, Rachel, Serene or Susie?

There are a few other things going on.  Open your eyes.