Archives for 2022

Dear 2023:
    2022 Sucked only slightly less than 2021 but it is trending in the right direction.  Celestial research shows definite trends toward favorable outcomes over the next 12 months.  See if you can keep your promise and make this a healthy and happy year for all of us, even those people whose opinions differ from mine.  I know it’s not an easy task, but please be understanding, take away their fear and show them the light.
With love, empathy and unlimited gratitude.
Linda & Me  

I believe we need a constitutional amendment requiring all persons running for political office to have a library card, prove their ability to read and demonstrate the ability to comprehend the difference between truth and truth social media; as well as the good sense to ignore the whining drivel on this website.

If every child born was given a library card at birth rather than a social security number civilization might have a chance.

I whined about this before, or should I say “I started a thoughtful conversation” regarding every charity, cause and candidate telling you your donation will be matched by someone or something.  I might buy it if every last request did not say the same thing.  But regardless of why, is that the final push that motivates a soul to send money to a worthy cause?

“Let’s see, if I donate $27.00, the minimum amount Friends of the Earth is requesting, it might not do any good BUT their match makes it $54.00 and that’s enough to push the needle and reduce carbon emissions!”  Are we really that gullible? 
If the thought of leaving your children and grandchildren a breath of fresh air is not enough to entice you to spare a few of the single dollar bills earmarked to slip into the G-string of an exotic dancer at the Girls, Girls, Girls Cabaret or Chippendales, then a dubious matching offer of a mysterious stranger’s largesse won’t do it either.

Quit arguing and follow these simple instructions: Conserve, recycle, donate, repeat.  The world thanks you.

Editor’s Note:  We are not sure of the accuracy of the reference to tipping exotic dancers as Fred has only heard about these places from watching Netflix.  He has no first-hand experience although, in the interest of full disclosure, two-for-one matching dollar bill night at the cabaret might actually be a real incentive…he’s heard.

The former darling of the customer service world Southwest Airlines has earned a dubious award by cancelling more than 10,000 flights this week; 2,500 on Wednesday alone.
Are you trying to tell me clever little safety announcements combined with antiquated systems, a horrible seating procedure and a dwindling bottom line is NOT a recipe for success?  CEO Bob Jordan has apologized and promised to get the airline back on track.

Whew, that’s a load off!  I was afraid the thousands of stranded travelers spending the night in an airport or waiting hours in line and on hold would not receive the longed for apology!  It’s like spending your life doing evil and then repenting on your deathbed.  You get the same results.

Is that a Southwest jet landing at the River Styx Airport?

“...Every day is your birthday!“ Dalai Lama, The 14th Dalai Lama, known as Gyalwa Rinpoche to the Tibetan people.

If the Tibetan People buy into this, can you imagine how many “Birthday Fundraisers” there must be on Tibetan Facebook?

Christmas is over.  You can enjoy the neighbor’s blinking lights for at least another month. It will be weeks until the credit card bill arrives.  You have a warm new pair of socks, leftover pie and cookies, relatives going home and another day off!
Savor the treasured memory of a wonderful day.

But remember; only 364 shopping days until next Christmas!

Aside from the one Jew that we all need to thank for all the presents under the tree on December 25th, I’d like to acknowledge a few other Jewish men that have contributed to the holiday spirit:

• Irving Berlin:  Composer of arguably the most popular Christmas song of all-time:  White Christmas
• Johnny Marks:  Composer of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.”
• Sammy Cahn and Jule Stein:  “Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!”
• Jay Livingston and Ray Evans: “Silver Bells.”
• Mel Tormé:  “The Christmas Song.” (You know…the chestnuts roasting thing)

Whatever you believe you cannot deny we are all connected and can all share a day dedicated to peace and love. 
How about it, Ye?  Truce?

That’s the subject line in the email I received this morning from Friends of the Earth, (foe.org).  They need Money!

Good news is they will double match our donations:
$27.00will Become $54.00
$50.00 will become $100.00
$100.00 Will become $200.00 (They only give 3 examples but I think we got the gist).

Bad news is that we are toast anyway; too many idiots denying the ravaging effects of climate change. 
But if they could tell me how to double match my bank balance I’d gladly throw them s few dollars.

It is said on this day, December 23, 1888, van Gogh first threatened his house guest Paul Gauguin with a knife before turning the knife on himself, cutting off his own ear and gift-wrapping it to give to a favorite prostitute in Arles, France.  He immortalized the event but painting “Self-Portrait with Bandaged Ear” in 1889.  His legend has grown over the years so I feel duty-bound to set the record straight.

Van Gogh did not cut off his whole ear but rather a part of his ear lobe.  Cutting off his ear would have been crazy!

…and sit on the three empty barstools.  Looking around they notice the bar is filled with beautiful women.  They begin leering and elbowing each other like frat boys. The bartender comes over and puts down a bottle of 38 year old Chivas Regal Royal Salute and 30 year old Glenfiddich saying “On the house gentleman.”  And for you Donald, a bottle of Coca-Cola with extra sugar and caffeine.”

“I guess hell ain’t so bad” Kanye said trying to pour a drink, but nothing came out.  He called to the bartender as they looked around and noticed the women now seemed to be blow-up dolls.  “These bottle necks are solid.  Nothing pours out.”

The bartender, now sneering and exposing sharp, horns from his skull replies, “Yeah, I know.  There are no holes in the bottles…or the ladies.  Enjoy!”