Archives for 2021

It was quite painful for me to walk but I suffered in silence as one would expect from a Ninja Warrior type such as myself.   At least I thought I was silent but Linda did not agree, so I reluctantly heeded her “advice” and let her take me to the Urgent Care clinic.  An x-ray found I have the plantar calcaneal thing on my heel.  You may know it by its more common name, a bone spur.  Did I mention it hurt like H-E-double toothpicks!

It got me thinking about how impressive it was that the donald faked a condition as painful as bone spurs to dodge the draft.  He could have gone with something simple and easier to believe like mental deficiency or incontinence.  That is courage!”

I can believe it, the quote was from her.
The singer and actor-fitness enthusiast (is that really a thing?),  met on the set of Spears’ “Slumber Party” music video in 2016.  Ironically the term “Slumber Party” is an apt description of every Britney Spears concert and appearance since 2016…and maybe a year or ten before then.

But everyone deserves a chance at true happiness and finding one’s soulmate is not easy.  (We all can’t be as lucky as me…lucky as I…whatever?)

Best of everything, Britney and Sam!  If you are ever in the Wilsonville area you are welcome to stay here unless, of course, Amal & George or Michelle & Barack are in town.

Today is a day to remember and honor those that died.  In that spirit can we try to be civil to our fellow Americans for one day and not lay the blame for our many problems on a single political party or ethnic group. After all, are you really sure that everything you think is 100% true and there is no room in a free society for differences in opinion?
If that describes you then you are a scared, weak, pathetic excuse for a human and quite possibly an idiot.  Of that I am 100% sure.

Uh oh…

About 500 BC Confucius had life figured out, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
(That is a translation as modern historians believe he spoke Chinese).

In 1845 Henry David Thoreau moved to the shore of Walden Pond.  Two years later he wrote this very clear insight into coping with a complex world, 
“Our Life is Frittered Away by Detail. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify!

In 1964 Tevya the Milkman sang “If I Were a Rich Man” to adoring crowds on Broadway, explaining that when posed questions on life’s most puzzling mysteries, “It won’t make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong.  When you’re rich they think you really know!”

Then on January 20, 2016 a rich sociopath with deep ties to Russia and lacking even a shred or empathy for his people rose to power and brought the lesson full circle.
He pretended it was complicated to instill fear, misrepresented his non-existent intellect and misinterpreted the mantra in keeping with his diminished intelligence as Simply Lie, Simply Lie, Simply lie!

It is that simple.

“The world always seems a little brighter when you’ve just created something that wasn’t there before.”   Neil Gaiman, English Author.
It is rumored he uttered the quote while staring into a porcelain bowl in the men’s room at Royal Albert Hall, after which he flushed and expressed the hope to again brighten the world the following day. 

MAMMONISM   [ mam–uh-niz-uhm ]
The greedy pursuit of riches.

From the Noun:  Mammon:
1.   New Testament. riches or material wealth. Matthew 6:24; Luke 16:9,11,13.
2.  A personification of riches as an evil spirit or deity.

I always just refer to it as tithing, the collection plate or the building fund.

Considering that truth in advertising (or politics) almost non-existent, it is easy to miss a truly important story, one that is truthful and honestly helps the average American stretch their dollar and bring a family closer together.  Fortunately you have come to the one place on the internet where truth reigns supreme and the welfare of the common man is the only agenda. 

In this spirit I inform you of the following special offer from one of America’s foremost purveyor of culinary delights for matriculating students, Vienna Beef!   This month, under the heading “Back to School Essentials” they are offering $10.00 discount, you heard me, $10.00 off Bagel Dogs.  And not just the standard 5# box of 14 dogs but also on the 3# box of 54 minis!   WOW!  Use discount code DKABZQ at viennabeef.com.

VIENNA BEEF, a grateful (and hungry) America salutes you!

A day off work for everyone is great but we must do more for the workers and their families as they are the real strength of America.  
Let’s celebrate the American Worker by declaring some other needed holidays:  A few suggestions:

• National Healthcare Day – Commemorating the passage of Universal Healthcare for all Americans.
• American Education Day – Memorializing the introduction of a system of education that allows everyone an affordable path to an academic degree or vocational certification.
• Sensible Minimum Wage Day – Celebrating the mandating of a living wage for all workers.
• Bastille Day USA – A day to take pride in reduced numbers of prisons and the end of private prisons for profit through the decriminalization of Cannabis and a focus on opportunity and rehabilitation over punishment.

There goes the radical left again, wanting a government responsive to the needs of its people…TRAITORS!

The Question; What is the strongest insect in the world? The Horned Dung Beetle (Onthophagus Taurus) is capable of pulling 1141 times its body weight in dung despite being just 10 millimeters (about 1/3 inch) long. 

Coincidentally the dung beetle has two equivalents in the animal kingdom; The Loudmouth Televangelist (Money-grubbus Charlatanis) and The Hypocritical Congress Person (Scumbagus Maximus), both spew 1411 times their body weight in horse manure daily and the average length of the male’s genitals is 10 millimeters.

So many lessons to learn from Nature!

But at least I have attained greatness in two separate disciplines.  Can you say the same Will Shakespeare, Maria Callas, Wolfgang Mozart or Madame Curie?
(Wait, scratch Madame Curie.  She won Nobel Prizes in Physics and Chemistry, but that’s almost the same thing, science is science, right?)