Archives for January 2021

What?

If rain washes memories from the sidewalks of life, where do they go?

In a landmark case in Federal Court the defendant, Nelo Penello of Walnut Creek, was charged with a vicious hate crime; transporting Sarcoptes scabiei, the mite that causes scabies, across state lines with intent to put in libtard’s underwear.  Penello was found innocent by reason of insanity based on uncontested testimony in which he categorically avowed that 1) he had once changed his mind based on someone’s post in Facebook, 2) the presidential election results were fraudulent and 3) Fox news is fair and balanced. 
The trial was delayed 9 minutes while the judge, the Honorable Marsh Mallow-Barr, attempted to regain his composure after an uncontrollable fit of laughter. 

Betterfredthandead.com has gotten supernatural attention.
“Siskel and Ebert give it two thumbs up!”  This according to Berrnie, a renown psychic who had posted the comment on his recently suspended Twitter Account.  “They’re big fans and only wish they had access to a smartphone and a 5G network.”
“We still have Dial-up here.  You would think  high-speed internet would be a heavenly perk…Uh Oh…”

I received a registered letter with a cashier’s check for $1,000,000.00 with the only provision being that I relinquish betterfredthandead.com and all the content contained therein. 
Then I awakened.  Bummer.

I recently read 2 books:
Where the Crawdads Sing  by Delia Owens   &
The Discomfort of Evening  by Marieke Lucas Rijneveld 
Both are beautifully crafted novels with a young girl protagonist.  One uplifted my spirit.  The other gave me nightmares.  Read one for enjoyment and the other if you wish to sink into the infernal abyss.

March 25, 2020 was the last day I wore an actual pair of pants. 
I am shooting for my 1 year chip. 
I proudly answer to the moniker “Captain Sweatpants. “

That’s what happens when your knife slips while cutting a grapefruit.  Surprising, right?   Not that I cut myself, that I ate a grapefruit.

We just paid $19.99 for the Pay-Per-View Movie “News of the World.”  Taken from my favorite Paulette Jiles novel, and I love all her books. Helena  Zengel was wonderful as Johanna and Tom Hanks was…Tom Hanks, always reliable, BUT the script…SHAME!  They sanitized the characters, cutting the heart out of the story. 
Read the book, skip the flick.  
(Yes, I know I used revue instead of review. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention).

In Flagrante Delicto!  You know who you are!