Seek help if you have any of these symptoms:
- Short-Term Memory Loss: You forgot you owe me money.
- Word Loss: You call a slime bag a “flirty cotton mother-trucker!”
- Repetition: You repeat stories. Yikes, we all have that one!
- Worsening Sense of Direction: You like the direction our country is taking.
- Confusion about Time and Place: You think we are in the Dark Ages where we have the right to control a woman’s body.
- Financial Missteps: You forgot you owe me money.
- Difficulty with Visual or Perceptual Tasks: You mistakenly voted red in the last presidential election.
- Changes in Judgment: You actually meant to vote red in the last presidential election.
- Personality Changes: People can actually stand to be around you listening to you yammer on.
- Misplacing Things: Losing that condom you carried in your wallet (not remembering that was back in high school).
- Misusing Items: Using new condoms as water balloons, they break as easy. (How would I know?…Phew, that was close!)
- Hallucinations: Being so frightened and hateful you believe tax breaks for the rich and sending home undocumented aliens searching for a better life is going to make any improvement in the quality of life for our citizens.
Again, if you display any of the above symptoms see your physician…and pay back the money you owe!